Three time a day prayer

This is something I have started personally for the last couple of months. I've prayed the same prayer three times a day; morning, noon, and night. I have really seen it affect me. God's healing some old things in my life. When I was over there last week, I prayed this prayer over some of the people we met.

"Holy Father, bring me light in this land of darkness. Give me strength in moments of weakness. Cast your love around my body. Forgive my mistakes. You know exactly what I need. Take my life and use it for Your ultimate glory. Wherever you lead me, Father, I pray my feet will follow. Your plans for me have already been set. It's so easy to become distracted, Father, but don't let me become distracted from Your breath upon me. Lead me, mold me, Jesus, so that I may become more like You. This planet is broken, God, but You are whole. Thank You for Your beauty, Father. In Your Holy Name, I pray..Amen."

I'm normally in tears by the end of it, but I have to share a story that touched my heart. On our first night there, I prayed that with a family. Mom, Dad, two daughters, three sons. Instead of personal pronouns, I used plural. At the end, I opened my eyes and looked up. There, smiling at me, was one of the daughters. She reached out and hugged me tightly around the neck. Didn't speak English, but God moved her through the simple act of someone praying over her. It was such a blessing for me to see, and it set a wonderful tone for the rest of the week.

The kids were incredible. Reaching out to grab your hand, the camera, just something they could hold onto. We didn't bring the Gospel. The Gospel was already there. He was already working His plans long before we arrived. It took us four days to complete the church. A few of the kids would call some of us "ntate", which I learned is "father" in Setswana. One particular boy, Thomas, was very enthusiastic about my camera. Every morning we were there, he'd run up to me, hug me around my waist, and then follow me around. I really miss him. He was around Aaron's age, and I think the two of them would love to play together. As I sat listening today to a few of the kids tell me their Spring Vacation stories, my mind sort of drifted back to the men, women, and children we met over there. I'm not against "soaking up the sun" on a beach in Florida (my wife and son actually did that), but I could not imagine a better place to spend a week than right where I was last week.

James and the rest of the team have arrived safely. I told him I'd deliver this message. :)

-Kate

Goodbye

"Whom shall I send?
Who will go for Me?
To the ends of the Earth?
Who will rise up for the King?
Here am I, send me."

It's an honor to go out in His fields and work. I will literally be running on two-and-a-half hours of sleep, if I were to fall asleep right now. However, I can't really sleep. I'm anxiously awaiting the beginning to this trip. I just want God to be glorified. Thanks for praying. Until next Sunday evening, God bless..

Prayer meeting tonight

We're having a prayer meeting at our house tonight for our mission team. We're leaving in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow. My basement has what I have titled my "Prayer Room." It's the quietest place in the house because it's the farthest room in my basement from the stairs. That's where I read my Bible and sometimes have "jam sessions" for God. I went down there last night, turned off the light, and just sat there listening for Him to open my heart up. I've been confused by a lot of things lately, and I just have to let it all go. I'm not in control. So, those 20 minutes or so with God last night has helped me.

Anyways, we're having dinner and prayer tonight. Safety, families, anticipation; there's a lot to think about, but God is God, and He knows our concerns before we even form them to thought. I'm so glad He's in control. God bless.

Getting Everything Out

All right, here it goes.. Perhaps this will help me, who knows..

1. Dad's health is not really that great right now. He's still having fainting spells; mostly during the day. Doctors can't give a clear reason why, but they've at least ruled out some scarier possibilities. He's getting angry. Since I'm the only son within a certain radius of him, I get to hear all about it.

2. Kate is scheduled to have a hysterectomy in the first week of April. It's not her choice. I don't think either one of us are prepared.

3. I leave at 3:30 Saturday morning for my trip to Botswana. A group of us are heading over there during Spring vacation week to help build the remaining parts of a church that was established on the last mission trip over there. Kate and Aaron are leaving with another family to go to Florida that week. My wife and son will not only be an ocean away from me, they'll also be away from our home. That makes me nervous for some reason.

4. My step-brother is leaving his wife after 14 years of marriage, which produced three beautiful children. I want God to just step in and say, "this is how you can talk to him about it." I'm not hearing anything, and they're falling apart.

5. On top of all that, Silas, our yellow lab, had developed cancer and had to be put down Monday afternoon.

6. I came home this afternoon, and Gracie didn't greet me at the door. I'm so sick of her not being down here but, at the same time, I'm thankful that He's got His arms wrapped tightly around her. It's a personal tug-of-war I wage with myself all the time.

Worries, nervous anticipation, confusion, sadness, anxiety; I'm giving all of those to God. I'm not in control of this little life of mine. I wish I knew why He was doing all that He's doing lately, but I will let Him work all of these things out for His glory. Six major balls being juggled in the air, praying they won't crash around me.

March 18th Scripture

Apparantly, the designers of the religious calendar that sets on my desk at work knew exactly what verses I would need today.

March 18, 2009

We never walk this path alone.

""Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us." Romans 5:3-5a

I woke up last night from a strange dream; one I can't even recall now. I rolled out of bed, and I began to write. 2:00 a.m. writing isn't a masterpiece, but I was just trying to clear my mind. I feel like I'm juggling more than I can handle, and it's going to eventually crash.

Our Silas

We had to put Silas down today. Well, I had to put Silas down. For some reason, Dad's the one that has to do these things. He had cancer. There's too much cancer in this world. I'm sick of it. Anyways, as I was driving back from the vet a few minutes ago, I was thinking about how I would tell Aaron that Silas wasn't jumping down from the truck bed. He wasn't coming home. We told him this morning that it would be unlikely that when we took Silas to the vet today that he would "make it."

This thinking of Aaron made me think of Silas' role in our lives. He was a gift for Kate. We had suffered two miscarriages a couple years before, and we were unsuccessful in trying for more children. We eventually gave up for awhile, and it was then that I thought we should invest our time into getting a dog. We brought Silas home, and he fell asleep between the two of us in bed that first night. He was such a wonderful friend from the beginning. Although I gave it to Kate, he really became my dog rather quickly.

When we had Aaron, he became the best "big brother". I know I sound like I'm humanizing a dog, but he honestly acted like one at times. Aaron would crawl after him, grab for his tail, and Silas would just sit there quietly until Aaron let go. When Aaron got old enough to walk and run, Silas was the first one who wanted to chase him around the house and yard.

He and Gracie were inseparable. Gracie would run through the sprinkler, Silas would run after her. Gracie would watch television, sitting on the floor, with her head resting on Silas' stomach. When Gracie died, Silas sat at her door every night for weeks. He couldn't figure out why she wasn't going in and out of the door.

For me, he played a big role in my grieving process. I know he's just a dog, but just sitting there patiently while I cried into his fur on some nights was wonderful therapy. It was like he knew our pain, and he did the only thing he could do; be a companion. I haven't seen the movie "Marley and Me," but I heard it's sad. I don't really want to see it now. But, there is something about yellow labradors that are beautiful.

Every afternoon on my ride up the driveway from work, I'd see Silas standing on the porch waiting for my truck to stop. When it did, he'd come running to the driver's side door, barking like a crazy thing, and wait for me to open it up. When I did, he'd lick my hand like he hadn't seen me in weeks. He did the same with Kate when she'd pull up the driveway. He was a loyal friend to Aaron. He was just a great dog.

Altar call

It didn't go as planned this morning. I was going to play "He Knows My Name" on guitar when He stepped in and moved my feet away from the stage and down to the altar. Stopping midway through song, our wonderful sound director piped in taped music to finish the call. I've just been having a lot of things on my mind, and God knew that today. I'm thankful He knows what is on my mind every day. I don't know how people try living this life on their own. I can't do it.

Fatherhood then/Fatherhood now

I've been keeping this little thing inside for 18 months. Tonight, I shared it with complete strangers, something I don't even want to discuss with my wife. That's interesting, knowing my own self and knowing that that's not like me. I have been putting smiles on this week. I'm just in a strange mood for some reason. I've been reading His Word, praying deeply, I'm not in a depressing mood, just a mood like something needs to happen because I feel like it will. I can't explain it. Anyways, enough about the description of the mood.

I am a goofy guy. I'm a funny guy, at least I think I am. I was looking at a home video earlier this week of Aaron and Grace running through the sprinkler in the front of my mother's house a few years ago. Aaron ran through the water. Gracie, being about one and unsure of the water itself, sort of just stood to the side and waved her arms when the water hit her body. All of a sudden, I bounced into the picture, grabbed Gracie, and ran through the spraying water. I did a dance on the other side to the enjoyment of my wife, who was apparantly behind the camera. Other videos I've seen, I was the same way. I then went to look at some videos since Gracie went Home, and I'm different. I can tell I'm different. If I'm goofy, it looks painful. It looks like I'm putting on fake smiles to please the crowd.

I have no idea where the "goofy" dad went. I want him back. I think Aaron needs him back. I said this elsewhere, but it feels like the sun is shining because I have so much hope for Heaven and what's to come when I get there. However, it also feels like there's this dark cloud hanging over my head, and even though the sun's in the sky, it's being blocked sometimes by the cloud. I look at those videos of the four of us, and I don't recognize that man. He's not the same man I've become in the last year-and-a-half. It's the biggest struggle I've been dealing with privately. I want to be the goofy, funny, crazy dad again. I want to find him. I just can't seem to do that. After talking with family members, apparantly not a lot of them even know I had a "blog," so I suppose I'm writing this to You, God. You're my audience on this one. I just want to be goofy Daddy again. Please?

Answered Spring vacation prayers

I knew my plans this year. I didn't know if Kate or Aaron were going to do anything. Last year, I told Aaron that we would go to either Florida or the Outer Banks for this Spring vacation. That obviously changed with the later information about this upcoming mission trip over Spring vacation. I knew God was leading me to Africa, and Kate said that Aaron would understand. Well, God actually answered all our prayers. Aaron's going to Florida after all that week. A woman whose husband is also going with me in the group to Botswana invited Kate and Aaron with her and their children to Ormond Beach that week. Answered prayer, it's great!

Just a quirky day

I woke up in a strange mood this morning, and it never left. I felt like God really answered prayers today through someone else's words, and that lifted my spirit in the process. I've been really anxious about some things, and I'm finding comfort and assurance in His love.

Aaron's comments

My son often has some pretty thought-provoking little lines.

At lunch the other day, Aaron told Kate and me, "sometimes, I put my hands behind my head before I go to sleep, and I wonder what Grace is doing in Heaven. Then, I get mad at myself because I know she's probably having the funnest time ever..getting to be with Jesus and the other angels."

This morning while getting him ready for school, he said, "it looks funny hugging the air. I don't do it cause it would look funny." I asked him why he would hug the air, and he responded, "how else can you hug Gracie?"

After picking him up from karate a few minutes ago, he said, "Dad, do the angels wear white robes?" I said I didn't exactly know for certain, but he stopped me short and said, "I wonder if there's karate in Heaven, because the angels already have the white robes! I wonder if they wash them with raindrops and dry them with wind..."

I don't want my son to lose his innocence. In the age of attention grabbing advertising and kids growing up way too quickly, the role of parents is vital to a child's view of morality. I pray every night that He will continue to guide Kate and I in the way we are raising our son. Proverbs 22:6 states, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it." I pray we are living this verse out.

Questions for Africa

All right, this really isn't questions that I have for the continent of Africa. These are questions I have in regards to the upcoming mission trip to Africa the week after next. A group of people from my church, along with a couple of their teen-age sons, are heading to Botswana in a couple weeks to help with the continuous building of a church that was "established" the last time a group went over last year. I always have pretty much the same questions when it comes to these trips..

1. How will God use me?
2. How will the people react?
3. How will His name be glorified?
4. Will I get sick?

All right, to understand how that last one fits anywhere with the other three; I have to tell you that it's not uncommon for me to get sick either on or after missionary trips. It's not "eaten the wrong food" sick. It's "I can't believe I have a cold in 90 degree weather" sick. We'll see about that one this time.

We cleared some more "material possessions" today

This is what I'm calling Gracie's items. It makes them easier to part with; knowing that they will one day just turn to rust anyways. The clearing of Gracie's room has been a long process. We didn't start anything until last September; the "one-year mark". We'll do a little, then stop. We haven't touched her room for a couple weeks, but we were back in there today. After Aaron's basketball game this morning, and lunch, he went to his grandma's house for the afternoon. We worked on Gracie's closet. The shelving in there was for a little princess. There are still dresses in there that are too "her" to give away, but we needed to work on the closet. A few years ago, we had a friend come in and stencil Gracie's name on the wall with black paint above where her bed was, and since her bed is down, the name looks lonely. When we paint the room, that will be the hardest thing to watch disappear. We have thought about leaving it. We're still discussing that one. Our girl had a ton of stuffed animals. We just now got into the fourth container of animals and toys this afternoon. We're going to keep some of them. Others, we'll take over to the children's hospital again. Material possessions, material possessions, repeat, repeat, repeat, material possessions..keep saying that, J.B., keep saying that..

Counting Down!

God is a patient God, and I need to learn to be a patient man. Otherwise, I just want to say, "give us a child already!" We're now in yet another "waiting stage" to see if what we can provide a baby is good enough. ;) Throughout this process, Aaron's been mesmerized with the home studies, paperwork, etc. He's asked us before, "how much longer?" It's out of our hands. It's in His.

Farm Day

Beautiful weather to spend the day outside; which is what I did. Kate took her Kindergarten class to the farm today. I, being her favorite husband and an extra set of hands (though we had plenty, but I managed to go anyhow) was asked to come along. I milked a cow. I can say that I haven't done that one in years. I helped churn butter. I rode in the wagon behind a tractor. I got to be five for a day; which my wife would say I do everyday, but it was enjoyable. I even got a "Tell your neighbors about Myers farm" sticker with a grinning horse. I thought that was clever. Of course, upon arrival back at school, I was welcomed back with a horrible note about the last class of the day. That ruined some of my high spirit.

Interview for Aaron's class

Aaron is doing this huge family project this month, and parts of his project are interviews of his parents and other family members. Tonight was my turn.

I have to share my son's sense of humor; although he was serious about this response.

He said, "dad, I already answered some of them, cause I knew the answers." I said all right, and he told me the ones he already filled in. Name, age, and where I was born.

Name.."James Bennett Tyler, right?"
Age.."40, right?"
Where I was born..."in a hospital, right?"

Completely serious, I couldn't contain my laughter. That's 100% my son right there, God bless him. :)

Reasons why my Dad is cool

I found this in Aaron's backpack while sitting in the lobby of the dentist office. It's a list he made today of "reasons why my dad is cool."

1. He plays Wii with me.
2. He loves my Mom.
3. We play football outside.
4. He plays guitar.
5. He is a teacher.
6. He listens to me.
7. He has a nice heart.
8. He prays with me.
9. He's awesome!
10. He loves me.

I love all ten, but I really loved #2.

For those interested..

Reasons why my mom is cool..

1. She is a good cook.
2. She loves my Dad.
3. She reads to me.
4. She doesn't make me go shopping.
5. She sings.
6. She plays Sorry and Uno with me.
7. She has a nice heart.
8. She prays with me.
9. She's amazing!
10. She loves me.

#4 made me laugh, and it's what would probably be on my own list of "reasons my wife is cool."

A Message of Eternal Hope

I passed a church sign today that read, "Remember, I am always here when you need to talk. Love, God." I've really been talking to God lately.

There have been a couple issues weighing on my heart and mind the past couple of days. One is eternity. The other is hope. Tomorrow morning, in Nashville, Tennessee; a man is being celebrated. His life is being remembered. I didn't know David Lipscomb personally, but my brother did. Hundreds of others did as well, and his good works for His Kingdom are just parts of David's legacy down here. He left behind a wife and two sons; who are likely now just counting down their own days until they see him again. Talking with my brother about this over the weekend, I thought about my own life. I am so ready for eternity to start. I'm ready to leave this world of sin for that world of peace. Please don't get me wrong, I will live every day down here that He gives me in purpose of rescuing the lost for His gain, but I can't wait for that day to come where I will see Jesus, and I will see Gracie. My father is still alive. I can't understand the impact losing a father will have on David Lipscomb's two sons at their ages. Having watched my little girl enter His presence in 2007, however, I can empathize with that pain. I know how difficult it is try to find some hope in that pit of darkness. However, there is hope. There's hope for a bright tomorrow; a day that finds us passing through to that Mansion. There's a reason we're here when we're here. As I've told my students in the past, there's a purpose for me being born in 1968 rather than 1668. God has my life set in its time frame for a specific purpose. It's my hope that I will one day be able to stand up in His presence and say, "this is what I have done for Your Name." Being broken is painful. However, broken days are a sign that we still live down here on this Earth. One day, I won't be broken anymore.

"Bring on the Snow"

In the words of my 7-year-old this morning, "bring on the snow.." To people in Minnesota, snow might be in the same category with some other four-letter words. In North Carolina, it's cause for excitement in this family. We don't get to experience it all that much under a certain elevation. When it comes, we take advantage of it! I was talking to one of my brothers this morning, and they had some pass through Nashville last night, and it's nearly gone already, so I know that it won't last long here either, but I do actually enjoy seeing it.