Getting Everything Out

All right, here it goes.. Perhaps this will help me, who knows..

1. Dad's health is not really that great right now. He's still having fainting spells; mostly during the day. Doctors can't give a clear reason why, but they've at least ruled out some scarier possibilities. He's getting angry. Since I'm the only son within a certain radius of him, I get to hear all about it.

2. Kate is scheduled to have a hysterectomy in the first week of April. It's not her choice. I don't think either one of us are prepared.

3. I leave at 3:30 Saturday morning for my trip to Botswana. A group of us are heading over there during Spring vacation week to help build the remaining parts of a church that was established on the last mission trip over there. Kate and Aaron are leaving with another family to go to Florida that week. My wife and son will not only be an ocean away from me, they'll also be away from our home. That makes me nervous for some reason.

4. My step-brother is leaving his wife after 14 years of marriage, which produced three beautiful children. I want God to just step in and say, "this is how you can talk to him about it." I'm not hearing anything, and they're falling apart.

5. On top of all that, Silas, our yellow lab, had developed cancer and had to be put down Monday afternoon.

6. I came home this afternoon, and Gracie didn't greet me at the door. I'm so sick of her not being down here but, at the same time, I'm thankful that He's got His arms wrapped tightly around her. It's a personal tug-of-war I wage with myself all the time.

Worries, nervous anticipation, confusion, sadness, anxiety; I'm giving all of those to God. I'm not in control of this little life of mine. I wish I knew why He was doing all that He's doing lately, but I will let Him work all of these things out for His glory. Six major balls being juggled in the air, praying they won't crash around me.