How life would be..

In a perfect world, right now, I'd have a 13-year-old, a 12-year-old, an eight-year-old, a six-year-old, and a one-month old. Unfortunately, this isn't a perfect world. But, it is controlled by the perfect One, and that gives me hope. So, as I sit and watch my eight-year-old son play basketball in the driveway, I miss the three Baby Tylers and Gracie. However, I know that He holds it all in the palm of His hand. God bless.

Tradition, T-R-A-D-I-T-I-O-N, Tradition

It's always a tradition in our family to watch the National Scripps Spelling Bee every year on television. The ability that God gave to these kids in the area of spelling is incredible! Of course, I don't want to brag, but I was very close to the winner of my 4th grade spelling bee.

I was only standing a few feet away. God bless.

Six weeks, really?

It's been six weeks now since Kate's surgery. She went in this morning to her doctor, and everything appears all right. Of course it'd be all right, even if it wasn't "all right," because God's in control of it all. I don't have to worry, even if the human side of me forgets that sometimes. I was actually asleep early tonight until I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep. Now it's a quarter after midnight, and I'm wide awake. It's a good time to just be silent before God; an easy time really, because it's pretty much quiet right now. I can sit here and listen to the calming silence outside that comes with country living. Inside, I can just be quiet before God, and the 20th game I've played of computer Solitaire.

Job 38

1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels [a] shouted for joy?

8 "Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

11 when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

12 "Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

16 "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death [b] ?

18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

19 "What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!

22 "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,

23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?

24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,

26 to water a land where no man lives,
a desert with no one in it,

27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?

28 Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?

29 From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens

30 when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?

31 "Can you bind the beautiful [c] Pleiades?
Can you loose the cords of Orion?

32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons [d]
or lead out the Bear [e] with its cubs?

33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God's [f] dominion over the earth?

34 "Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?

35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

36 Who endowed the heart [g] with wisdom
or gave understanding to the mind [h] ?

37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

38 when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?

39 "Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions

40 when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?

41 Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?

After Gracie's death, I read through Job three times. It wasn't because of comprehension. It was because I felt so connected to how Job was struggling, while still holding near to God. I read it again last night and this morning as well. There is so much that I can do by the will of God's hands, but it's not even a tiny speck compared to what God has done for us.

Camping Trip, Graduation, and Memorial Day

I'll just fit all three topics into one.



If you've never gone to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and you're ever North Carolina/Virginia way; I suggest taking a drive along the Parkway. I don't know how anyone can question God if they've been through the Blue Ridges. Aaron and I left around 8:00 yesterday morning, and we got back home around noon today. No rain; thank goodness. The campground area wasn't as crowded as I thought it'd be either.

Tonight was graduation. The pimple-infested, hormone crazed, driver's license dreamers that I had a couple years ago are now college bound, world changing dreamers. Sitting there, I can't believe it's been 22 years since I was standing in their shoes. Where does the time go?

I'd like to also take the time to remember the men and women who gave their lives so that it's even possible for me to freely visit the Blue Ridges, or for the Class of 2009 to jump into this world with open arms. On this Memorial Day, I salute the men and women who have given the greatest sacrifice; their lives, so that we might have freedom in this country. God bless the troops.

Memorial Weekend Camping Trip

For the last three years, I've taken Aaron off into the Blue Ridges, just the two of us, on a camping extravaganza of sorts. We set up a tent, throw down our sleeping bags, make some smores, catch a few fish, and just hang out together. It's something my father used to do with my brothers and I when we were younger, and it's something that I hope Aaron will pass on to his children. We leave tomorrow morning, and we get back sometime on Sunday. It's one of my favorite mini-trips. Judging from the countless stories he shares with Kate when we get back, I think it must be one of his favorite trips too.

The echoes of Alice Cooper..

No, school's not out "forever," but it is out for the summer. Though the students' final day was today, I will wander into the classroom one last time tomorrow before taking my leap into summer. With it comes time with Kate and Aaron, driver's education students, Romania, baseball, golf, life; I'm still like a 10-year-old when it comes to summer. It's my favorite time of the year.

Chapel and end-of-year-activities

Last chapel service of the year, and it was amazing. Kate sat with her former Kindergarten class. Many of the children wouldn't let her go once chapel was over this morning. We honored the seniors; who have finished and are actually in Washington D.C. right now. We honored the Kindergarteners; which would have included Gracie. We read Scripture, sang some hymns (including a jazzed up version of "This Little Light of Mine" for the lower school), and listened to a wonderful message about God's view on children. It's certainly not a bad way to spend 70 minutes of my day. The service was a great way to send me into Wednesday and final exams for my students.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. I say good-bye to my sophomores, and I ship them to the next set of teachers in line. Tomorrow is also my annual History Jeopardy Tournament. I also will be getting my teacher evaluations. A few years ago, I created a questionaire for my students to openly comment on what they liked about my teaching this year and what they might have wanted to see me do differently. It's a great tool for me to measure how to approach my teaching, but it's also fun for the students to really admit how they feel about having me as a teacher. I've gotten some eye-opening answers in the past. Some of them are very interesting to read. Overall, I'm just as excited to see the end of school (although Friday for me) than the kids. It's an end to another good year.

Wednesday's Chapel

We're going all out for Wednesday's Year-End Chapel service. We have got guitars, a harp, a piano, and a whole lot of singing about The
B-I-B-L-E, because obviously, that's the book for me. There are only four chapels that unite the entire student body; the first one of the year, Christmas, Easter, and the last one of the year. In the first service in August, the lower and middle schools conduct it. Wednesday, it's the upper school's turn. Faculty and students both lead the service. We've got the Physical Education teacher playing guitar, the French teacher playing the harp, and me on piano. The choir is singing, the masses will be gathered, it's the highlight of the month for me. Now, if only I could figure out how I keep getting wrangled into participating every year... I'm not complaining. Wednesday will be an amazing time of witnessing God's love in these young people; despite the poor piano playing.

In honor of the chapel service, Aaron and I wrote a song for the occasion. We worked on it last night, since my wife was completely engaged in Home Makeovers and those women on Wisteria Lane. I turned it over to the guitar, and this is the best we got.

Oh, won't you join us?
Please do come quick.
Be in school on Wednesday.
Oh, don't you be sick.

Cause there is a chapel.
And we'll all be there.
Yeah, we're getting close now.
To the end of the year.

Yes, I said there's a chapel
For the big and the small.
We're gonna praise God.
So come join us all.

According to Aaron's teacher, he took her aside and sang that to her today.

Hopes and Dreams

Katie and I were playing around with our hopes for the future tonight. Right now, there are people in China who have our future child in their hands. It's out of our control. God has it under control. However, even if we're not in control, we can still dream, hope, and pray for our future child. That's what we were doing tonight. We came up with three girl names and three boy names.

Liliana Rose
Anna Marie
Ellie Katherine

Jacob Andrew
Seth Ryan
Joseph Bennett

We had some trouble agreeing on the boy's names. When we found out we were pregnant last summer, we were planning on naming the baby Ellie or Jacob. However, Katie loves Liliana Rose. I'd name the baby Hippo Longbottoms if they would just match us with a kid! (all right, I hope you do realize that Katie would stop me before naming our child that...)

No More Fountain

Gracie collected pennies. She had hundreds of them. They were her four-leaf clovers. She'd find them everywhere, and they always seemed to be "heads-up" for her. My classroom overlooks a fountain that has been there for about the last four or five years. Every school day, from the time we learned Gracie had cancer, to yesterday morning, I've thrown a penny in the fountain and made a wish before going into the building. This morning, I watched a crew remove the fountain. It's like seeing off an old friend who you know you won't see again. The fountain was broken, not working for a couple weeks now, and they decided to remove it. They obviously didn't consult me on the matter, because I would have told them that the fountain meant something personal to me and should just remain broken. I guess other people had their reasons for its removal, but I'm going to have to find another place to toss my wishes into now.

David's words

I have read the Bible cover-to-cover a couple times, but I'm now in the process of really trying to understand Paul's travels and David's Psalms. I came across Psalm 40 this morning, and David's prayer in his time of distress struck a chord with me.

Psalm 40: 1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.."

I think I'm starting to feel deeper healing from God. He's been healing me slowly since Gracie died, but it had always seemed like "surface healing". Now, I really believe He's working hard in the deep areas of my soul. It's like I'm reading His Word with different eyes. If you've never taken the time to read through David's words in the Book of Psalms, I suggest you start.

Almost to the finish line

The last day of school for the students is next Thursday, and the Class of 2011 will leave my classroom for the last time, making room for the Class of 2012. I will also sit there at graduation and watch yet another group of seniors walk across the stage at graduation, remembering how they thought they'd never be "that old" when they were in my classes a couple years ago. It's funny how time moves in high school. The kids enter as freshmen, and they think they're here forever. Before they know it, they're looking at colleges and fitting their caps and gowns. This is one of my favorite parts of the school year; personally and professionally. I'm ready to welcome in summer. I'm ready to have free time; which rarely happens during the school year. Professionally, I'm also excited to see how God has been working in these students throughout the year, both academically and spiritually. It's great when I'm able to see the major growth, which I've been able to see in a few students since last August. One of my boys walked into the classroom last August and told me plainly that he didn't like History. It was old and boring. Now, he's one of my top students. When I was little, I wanted to be a pilot. Thinking on it now, I'd much rather see the world in my kids' faces than from 30,000 feet any day.

Mother's Day

This weekend's been wild. Aaron woke up drenching wet early Saturday morning. He hasn't for years, but we thought he might have had an accident. It wasn't; it was sweat. He was running a 104 degree fever. We took him to the hospital. They managed to reduce the fever, and he doesn't have "swine flu." Trust me, that's the first thing I thought of while sitting in the hospital. Instead, he has pneumonia. No baseball and outdoor fun for this little guy this weekend; which I think makes him feel worse than his illness.

That was yesterday. Today, Kate went to my in-laws church. My mother's currently in Nashville visiting my brother, so I've had an unorthodox Mother's Day so far. I will admit that I did cook chicken and noodles for lunch today for my mother-in-law, and it was edible. Aaron was looking forward to taking Kate out to eat tonight on his own and paying for her meal (which took a lot of time to collect that money), so they are going to postpone that gift until he's feeling better. Kate and I drove by the cemetery this afternoon and sat for a little while by Gracie. There were a lot of cars out there today with people who just wanted to be close to their mothers. I thank God for the gift of three amazing mothers in my life; my mother, my wife, and my mother-in-law. I've learned such incredible lessons from them. Have a wonderful Mother's Day; the few hours left of it anyways. I've been busy today, and this is the first I've been able to visit here.

Last entry

I realize that my last entry might have been a bit "harsh," and if so, I do apologize. A couple remarks I heard after the gathering yesterday set me off on that tirade. God bless.

National Day of Prayer

All over this nation today, people gathered to pray for this nation, our government, its leaders, our families, schools, churches, and each other. As usual, a few fellow teachers and I took off the noon hour to gather in downtown Winston-Salem with several other prayer warriors. Unfortunately, there are people in Winston-Salem, people in North Carolina, people in the United States, the world who don't know or don't care about the Gospel. Standing downtown today, in the middle of the busy crowd, made me anxious. I wanted to be there, but I also wanted to be in the middle of Botswana, or China, India, or Peru, even to lost people in my hometown. I believe prayer is so vitally important, please don't misunderstand me, but Jesus tells us to go and make disciples of all nations. Praying for those in China, praying for those in Africa, that is great. But, Jesus says to go. It's more than just praying. It's witnessing. It's testifying. It's going to the ends of the Earth for His Kingdom's sake. My mind was just racing with those thoughts today. The National Day of Prayer is an amazing day, but it's just one of 365 days in the year. What are we doing to come together for His glory the rest of the time?

I've seen too many Christians who need a wake-up call. I know of some who prayed for our nation's leaders today, only to more than likely say horrible comments about them tomorrow. It's not about us. It's not about whether we get what we want out of life. When we pray for government leaders, we should pray for them regardless of our own opinions.

When we pray for our laws in this country, we can't only pray for the laws that we think are correct and just. We have to pray for God's reign to fall upon the laws we might not agree with, that those lawmakers create those laws with Jesus in mind. We can do this without arguing. We can do this without judgment ourselves.

When we pray for our schools, churches, families, and media, we can pray for God's mercy to shower over them, but we must let God be in control. We can do this without oppressing anyone's opinion or personal choice. I've seen too many Christians misuse our Gospel these days. I don't want to see us silent, but I pray that we can put our personal opinions aside to allow God to work His glory in the lost of this nation and world. Jesus' gatherings were with liars, with thieves, with lepers, with the lost and helpless. If we are striving to be more like Jesus, why aren't more of us hanging around with the same crowd that He did? I'm not advocating being LIKE those people, but those are certainly people we need to be reaching. He can use us for His purposes, but we can't get in the way of His message. I hope everyone was able to gather somewhere today. If not, I just pray that you felt Him close today. God bless.

Hershey

Appropriately named Hershey, this is our new horse. All right, it's my new horse. We've got an even dozen now. I let Aaron name him. He said, "I name him, I get to ride him then, right?"

Philippians 3:12,14

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

Verse 14: "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Paul's not talking about the physical race we run on a daily basis. Our goal isn't the white tape at the end. It's the eternal reward of living with Him in peace and paradise. This is one of my favorite set of Scripture. On the eve of the National Day of Prayer, I pray that we all put aside our differences when it comes to this world's affairs and focus on helping each other become more like Him. God bless.

Two areas of note: China still has our dossier. At least they didn't kick us out! And, it looks like Katie and Aaron might be spending a couple weeks in Romania this summer, while I stay a bit longer. Pray for the final decision. We have until May 30th!

Old Letter

Last weekend, I brought home a box from my mother's basement full of a lot of childhood memories for me. She kept nearly all my baseball and basketball uniforms. Some of those were in there, along with some medals, a couple trophies, some stuffed animals, etc. I also found an envelope addressed with my name written on the outside of it in my father's handwriting. The envelope was sealed. I ripped it open out of curiosity, and there was a letter inside from 1986.

Dear Skip (Dad often called me this),

Husbands work on their marriages. Daddies don't leave their children. I'm sorry I wasn't much of a father for what I did to you boys. One day, you'll find this letter, and I hope you will forgive me for leaving you, Sam, Danny, and your mother. Whenever you do read this letter, please let it find you with peace in your heart, son. When you have a wife and kids of your own, God will make you a great family man. If it gets tough, work it out. I lost it all the day I fell into that trap son. Don't fall into it either. I love you so much. I'm so proud that you're my son.

Love, Dad

It was tucked inside one of my yearbooks in the athletic section. I don't know if Dad even wanted it found. I showed it to Kate. I don't know if I necessarily need to show it to Dad. That was a long time ago, and life has moved forward. It obviously wasn't what I was expecting to find amongst the happy childhood memories.

Sunday ramblings

I went to chaperone the prom. What I got was the gig of chaperoning the prom AND supervising the clean-up process beginning at midnight. By the time I arrived home and found the pillow, it was 2:00 in the morning. I laughed thinking that I was re-living my own prom, getting home in the wee hours of the morning. Then, my lower back pain and joint discomfort pulled me back into reality. But, that's over now, and there's only a couple more weeks to teach these kids something. Next week, I'm tackling America's involvement in the Cold War. For some of my kids, they will probably think this was an actual war fought at the North Pole, but God has been popping on the light bulbs of some of these kids, and He's eventually going to turn on the switch for them all. It just takes time and patience.

Kate's doing well physically and emotionally (big Amen)! She's been slowly building up an exercise routine. She is going to go back in and see her students this week to say hello. They've been missing her, drawing her pictures and cards. We have a lot of them on our refrigerator. Aaron's team lost their ball game yesterday. He was 1-3 with a double. One of his best friends was on the other team. Aaron is the catcher. When his friend came up the plate, Aaron later told me that he had butterflies in his stomach for his friend. He wanted him to hit a homerun. I love his sportsmanship. It's never about winning or losing. As he grows up, I hope he remembers that. I'll do my best to remind him. Have a wonderful week. God bless.

Chaperone

Ah, it's prom time again. It's one of the greatest things for a high school kid to experience. It is my job to make sure they don't experiece too much. Yes, I've been wrangled once again into chaperone duties. Last year, I brought Kate along, and we requested "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany for old time's sake. That one brought some attention. I have been scouring around for a prom picture from when I went in 1988, but I don't have one at the house. I'm sure my mother might have one available. I will have to dig it up. I don't know how I went from the "cool jock" to the "old man" who hounds over the kids if they get too close during their dancing, but that's just life I guess. God bless.