I couldn't sleep last night, so I went downstairs to the kitchen. I sat at the table, and I sort of took in the quiet blackness that can be found at 2:30 in the morning. I kind of just sat there. At first, I wasn't thinking about anything. For about 10 minutes or so, I sat there quiet and still; rubbing my hand along the top of the table. My mind sort of began to drift to the bigger picture of my family. I looked out the window and thought about the time when Aaron will learn to drive, graduate high school and college, get married, make me a grandpa. I thought about dancing with Kate at our 50th anniversary, how beautiful she'll look with grey hair and wrinkles. All the future hopes that we'll experience together and with him. The future hopes of one day being told we have a baby in China who will share our last name.
I thought about how much I love my wife. She's a complete angel, truly sent for me, handpicked by God. Amazing woman. I thought about how much I love being a father, how much I love watching Aaron grow and change. I thought about how much I love being a son, brother, uncle, friend. I love the roles God's given me.
Then I began to think about Grace. I watched a video of her the other day; smiling and giggling at the camera as she was trying to hit a baseball off a tee. She'd miss, look at the camera, laugh, and pick it back up. She didn't have any hair at that point, but you'd never be able to tell she just had a few months left down here. I realize my daughter will never learn to ride a bike, tie her shoe, drive a car or graduate high school. I know there will come a day 20 years from now when I will look out at a beautiful day and wonder if I would have been walking her down the aisle that day. I know I'll always wonder what she would have named her children. I'll always wonder those things. But at the same time, I will always be thankful that God gave me four years with a beautiful little girl. My life will be forever changed because that little girl came into it.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Rising Hope
One of the smaller books I read through during my "media sabbatical" was Charles Swindoll's "The Rising Hope". God knew the perfect timing for this book to land in my hands. I've been struggling with that around the holidays. Here's an excerpt:
"Christ is the cornerstone, and His children are living stones that make up the building. Each time someone trusts Christ as Savior, another stone is quarried out of the pit of sin and fitted into the spiritual house He's building through the work of the Holy Spirit. And carefully overseeing the construction is Christ, who is the hands-on contractor of this eternal edifice. Each of us is His living stone. God is the Master Architect, and every stone is being placed exactly where He designed it to fit. Furthermore, as any experienced stone mason will confirm, there are no unimportant stones. Because you have been chosen to become a part of His house, you can be certain God finds you immensely valuable. Never forget that, even on those blue days. We are living stones in a spiritual house."
"Christ is the cornerstone, and His children are living stones that make up the building. Each time someone trusts Christ as Savior, another stone is quarried out of the pit of sin and fitted into the spiritual house He's building through the work of the Holy Spirit. And carefully overseeing the construction is Christ, who is the hands-on contractor of this eternal edifice. Each of us is His living stone. God is the Master Architect, and every stone is being placed exactly where He designed it to fit. Furthermore, as any experienced stone mason will confirm, there are no unimportant stones. Because you have been chosen to become a part of His house, you can be certain God finds you immensely valuable. Never forget that, even on those blue days. We are living stones in a spiritual house."
Friday, January 1, 2010
Ok, an explanation:
I didn't desert this place. I didn't have a major crisis that prevented me from being here. I just needed a break from the media that can hold people down at times. Kate, Aaron, and I challenged ourselves to avoid television and the computer for a month. Movies were out. They're just giant TV's. The Internet was out; although I did send a message to my brother that ended up as a "tweet". That was accidental, and Kate forgave me. ;) Cell phones weren't part of our "challenge". However, the Internet on the cell phones were out.
Media just has a powerful way of holding you back. In the past month, I think I've played Monopoly Jr. 50 times with my son. I read through a couple books. Kate and I cozied in front of a fire and talked for about four hours one night/early morning. I honestly don't know if I would have done those things (at least consistently) if I had the hazy glare of the computer screen sitting in front of me. The one exception was work. I was able to access it at work, but even then, I felt like I was cheating. So if it wasn't school related, I wasn't on it.
Did it work? I think it did. We did watch the ball drop in Times Square yesterday, but we didn't turn the television on until 11:59, so Aaron could count down with the rest of America. 12:01; it was off again.
I'm not saying television is bad. I'm not saying the computer is dangerous. But, I had more fun this month without those two things taking up my time than I've probably had with them right in my face. My prayer life got deeper. My Word study became richer. It was a good thing.
As for the other two, they did well. I thought Aaron would miss Disney. I thought Kate would miss TLC. I knew I'd miss football, but we made it. It's amazing how odd it felt to actually read a newspaper to find out the news of the day, but I'm glad the three of us stuck it out this past month.
So, again, I didn't abandon this place. I just got a reality check. :) We could have easily cheated. We weren't around each other 24 hours of the day to see if one of us turned on the television or searched around on the computer. But, without speaking for the two of them, I didn't want to. It became more than just a challenge for me after a couple weeks. It became a serious wake-up call as to how much media plays in my life. For that reason, I never cheated. Did I want to? Yes, but I didn't.
Media just has a powerful way of holding you back. In the past month, I think I've played Monopoly Jr. 50 times with my son. I read through a couple books. Kate and I cozied in front of a fire and talked for about four hours one night/early morning. I honestly don't know if I would have done those things (at least consistently) if I had the hazy glare of the computer screen sitting in front of me. The one exception was work. I was able to access it at work, but even then, I felt like I was cheating. So if it wasn't school related, I wasn't on it.
Did it work? I think it did. We did watch the ball drop in Times Square yesterday, but we didn't turn the television on until 11:59, so Aaron could count down with the rest of America. 12:01; it was off again.
I'm not saying television is bad. I'm not saying the computer is dangerous. But, I had more fun this month without those two things taking up my time than I've probably had with them right in my face. My prayer life got deeper. My Word study became richer. It was a good thing.
As for the other two, they did well. I thought Aaron would miss Disney. I thought Kate would miss TLC. I knew I'd miss football, but we made it. It's amazing how odd it felt to actually read a newspaper to find out the news of the day, but I'm glad the three of us stuck it out this past month.
So, again, I didn't abandon this place. I just got a reality check. :) We could have easily cheated. We weren't around each other 24 hours of the day to see if one of us turned on the television or searched around on the computer. But, without speaking for the two of them, I didn't want to. It became more than just a challenge for me after a couple weeks. It became a serious wake-up call as to how much media plays in my life. For that reason, I never cheated. Did I want to? Yes, but I didn't.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
