I wasn't referring to the literal dates. While the rest, minus a nephew, sleeps, I'm left to think. At 12:30 in the morning, that can tend to be interesting. However, with Kate asleep next to me here, and Aaron asleep in the next room, I can't help but think about these three moments in time; yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Where my family was, where they are, where they will be..those are my thoughts.
Yesterday..I remember after losing our first baby, Kate and I begged God to bring us another one. After we lost our second baby, we thought that God didn't want us to be parents. When we learned Aaron was on his way, we were ashamed we ever doubted Him. After Gracie came and left us for Home four short years later, we just didn't understand anymore. And, after losing our fifth child, we were lost and done with it all. Now, neither of us could help produce a baby even if we wanted to try again. God works in confusing ways at times.
Today..Aaron's now 8 and keeping Kate and I busy 24/7. The three of us have been out together before, and people will comment about how he's an only child. He's not an only child. He's one of five Tylers, not the only one. Watching him play is difficult sometimes, because I know he misses playing with Gracie.
Tomorrow..we're currently in the process of adopting from China. I don't know when, I don't know who, but I do know why. We didn't seek it. That call came from God. He's controlling the direction of the process.
Our family's changed a lot since Kate and I exchaged vows in 1993. We've been overjoyed at pregnancies. We've been broken with miscarriages. We've rejoiced with two healthy births. We were floored with the news of cancer. We were shattered with the Homecoming of our four-year-old. I don't know what God has in store for our future, and I don't need to see it until He unfolds it for us. I just want to always put Him in the driver's seat, even when the car seems to be going 200 mph.
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2 comments:
He is teaching me to put him in the drivers seat as well. I have never endured even half of what you have. I don't know what is in store for the rest of my life. But I know if I put him in control it will be for my good and his glory. Thanks for the post. I'm praying for you and your family.
~Dani
I couldn't help but think of you while I read the first 4 chapters of a book called Red Moon Rising. I can't help but think that God is "stirring" your heart for something he is wanting you to do for him....something outside the box. If you haven't read this book, I suggest you get it and dive in....maybe even before you leave for your mission trip...or better yet, while you are on it. Even though I haven't read it all myself, I just feel it has your name on it. The author must be a history buff himself as it's full of references to the past.
This book burned a desire in my sister in-law to start the 24/7 prayer house here. What a blessing it has been to me and countless others who enter it's doors.
God is speaking....are we listening? I think you will find answers to some of your questions in this book.
Praying for your family as you ready yourselves for this trip. I'm sure this is going to make a big impact on all of you.
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